The Third Annual Fourth on the First or Closest Saturday to the Fourth or Whichever Comes to Mind First
Pee Wee Beer Boat Race.
Or the
2010 Lager Regatta
Rules
Objective:
To launch1 from roughly2 the middle3 of the lake4 a vehicle5 that will transport6 a bottle7
of imported8 beer9 and be the first10 vehicle to any shore-line11.
1 Launch - To release, let go, allow to go free.
Each vehicle will be released by its Master(1a) or the Commodore(1b).
(1a) Master - Owner, Operator, Builder
or otherwise
(1b) Commodore - ME.
2 Roughly - Sorta - Kinda
To be defined by (1b) above when needed.
3 Middle - see 2 above
The Commodore (1b) will identify and announce (2) moments before the official releases time(3a).
All releasers (see (1) and (1a)) will either make arrangements with the commodore (1b) or in some way
get his or herself to the release point with or without vehicle (5).
(3a) - Whenever the Commodore (1b) gets his ass in gear.
4 Lake - A body of water specifically, Stag Lake.
5 Vehicle - any means in or by which something(5a) is carried(5b) or conveyed(5c); a means of conveyance
or transport - a medium of communication, expression, or display - a carrier, as of infection(5d).
(5a) See 8 and 9
(5b) Carried on the surface of the lake (4) by a device with hull length no longer than 24 inches -- or there about.
(5c) Conveyed - Propelled by natural means, wind, solar, nuclear, no fossil fuels or batteries please.
(5d) Infection - limited to the infecting of other vehicle entries.
6 Transport - To convey see 5c.
7 Bottle - Glass container of 12 to 24 liquid US Ounces.
If it contained, capped or closed by some non-standard device, a suitable opening device will
be required to be carried on and secured to the vehicle (5) at all times in order that the Commodore
(1b) can authenticate the beer (9).
8 Imported - The only acceptable import -- see 9.
9 Beer - an alcoholic beverage made by brewing and fermentation from malted barley, and flavored
with hops and the like.
10 First - Any part of the main hull(10a) of the vehicle (5) that comes in contact with the dirt or mud at
the shore-line (11) as witnessed by the Commodore (1b). Failing eyesight aside, his decision is final.
(10a) Hull - that part of the vehicle (5) that is in direct contact with the lake (4) and provides primary buoyancy.
11 Shore-line - The perimeter limits of the lake (4) where the water meets a non-aqueous natural substance (12).
12 Non Aqueous natural substance - Natural organic or inorganic matter on or near the edge of the lake (4) NOT to include man made or assembled objects.
13 Non Entrants are limited to Iron City Lite Beer.
Additionally: All Beer (9) is forfeited to the Commodore (1a) or the bottom of the lake (4), whichever proves to be most expedient.